Cognitive Dissonance in War

Exploring Ancestral Grief and Inherited Trauma

What I read shocked me to my core. ‘No. No way. Oh my gosh! What the hell?!’

Those were a few words my boyfriend recently heard me yell from the bedroom as he sat on the sofa strumming his guitar a few days ago. He ran into the room to see if I was ok and ask what was going on! Normally I don’t bore him with a lot of the military stuff. It isn’t his cup of tea, but in this case I let loose.

Frank Winkler. Opening the casket. No proof. Grandma. The family believe the remains weren’t Frank’s.

Kenneth Vix. Opening the casket. With PROOF! Cognitive Dissonance. Hope.

Thoughts raced through my midn. Could my family story have actually taken place? Was my grandma telling me the truth when I first began my genealogy research almost 30 years ago? I thought she had lost her mind! Did these things really happen to our families and service members?

As a baby genealogist my grandma told me a story about my cousin Frank Winkler who was Killed In Action 24 June 1944. He served as a Replacement Soldier with the 29th Division for less than 24 hours before being shot in the head. Graves Registration buried him temporarily in La Cambe Cemetery in France before repatriating his remains in 1948.

Grandma told me when Franks’s remains were returned his parents didn’t know if it was truly him. As a baby genealogist I had no idea how long Frank was buried overseas or how Graves Registration handled our war dead. She also told me Frank’s parents opened the casket when his remains were returned. His mom said she would bury this boy even if it wasn’t her own son.

When I learned about hermetically sealed caskets and how our war dead were sent home (bones and a uniform in a casket), I thought the family story of opening the casket couldn’t possibly be true. That never happened.

But it did.

I received a new Individual Deceased Personnel File (IDPF) for a soldier buried near me in the Chicago area. His name was Kenneth Vix and he was temporarily buried at the Netherlands American Cemetery in Margraten. When you receive the PDF of the IDPF, they are scanned in reverse chronological order so you have to keep that in mind when reading. Or move the pages around as you review the file so it’s in order and two-page letters or memos are page 1 first then page 2.

As I skimmed this file to see what it contained, I had not moved any pages or reset the chronology of the pages. I was shocked at what I read about the family opening the casket.

At first I thought it had happened when the remains first came home before they held the funeral. I read the memo in the file without paying much attention to the date upon first read of the file. But oh no - that’s not at all what happened. The family sought a court order in DuPage County, Illinois to have the remains exhumed because the parents absolutely could not, would not no matter what evidence was presented, believe their son was dead.

Memo p. 1 of notes of meeting after exhumation in December 1949. These are the first pages I read. But as I continued reading the file (115 pages) I learned more. Remember, as a researcher, we tend to skim documents and files first, seeking out specific things. Then we go back and have a deeper read to notice all that we missed. Although sometimes when we look at documents later with fresh eyes, we see additional things we missed.

Memo Page 2.

The family also submitted notes on evidence they wanted the military to provide them to prove the remains were those of their son’s. This was part of the correspondence in 1947 regarding disposition of remains. To me this felt a little out there. Ok, way out there. Never have I seen any family ask for this level of proof.

Cognitive Dissonance

Download Kenneth’s IDPF.

As you read Kenneth’s file, pay attention to all the correspondence between Arthur Vix, his wife and the military. On page 81/115 there is a letter from Arthur indicating his son was blind in one eye so how could he possibly have been in combat. There is another memo, in response to Arthur’s question, from the military indicating the Army medical staff would have indicated in his file that he was unable to be in foreign service had he been medically unable to serve. I question why the father brought this up. Was it true? See pages 76 and 74 for this memo response.

On a personal note, my great uncle Frank Holik was blind in one eye and while he was able to join the Army, they made him an MP to serve in the Chicago area. He never went overseas. This begs the question - did they send men into combat who didn’t have good vision? Wouldn’t that have been a liability to those Kenneth served with which could have contributed to friendly fire accidents?

I wonder how Kenneth’s family lived the rest of their lives in this cognitive dissonance. Or did they? There was a brother - what did he believe? How did the family remember and speak of (or not), Kenneth. Did his parents ever ‘give up hope’ and find some peace and closure to what happened to their son? Or did they live with the grief and ‘hope’ the rest of their days? How might that have impacted choices they made, how they interacted with the son who lived and his family?

Sometimes in war, things happen we cannot wrap our minds around. It may take months or years to process what happened and integrate it. Sometimes it takes generations.

As I read this file I thought my grandma might not have been crazy and maybe she was telling the truth. Frank’s casket could have been opened once out of military control (download the IDPF for Kenneth for more details). Based on family story, Frank’s parents never recovered from the death of their son, the ‘favorite’ grandson in the family. Did Kenneth’s parents ever recover?

Finding Closure

Will my question about Frank ever be answered? No. There is no one left alive who was there. Frank’s IDPF does not have any indication this was a possibility. I haven’t checked to see if the funeral home still exists where Frank was taken. Maybe I will do that and see if they have any records from 80 years ago.

While my ancestors may not have found closure around Frank’s story, I did. His IDPF does prove the remains were his. When I wrote his story for my book Stories of the Lost, I wrote it as if I was having a conversation with his parents in 1948 about this and his personal effects and other issues my grandma talked about. This was healing for me and I’m certain my ancestors.

Based on stories I’ve heard from clients and others, there are many families who held onto hope that their veteran was still alive somewhere. Possibly with amnesia. Possibly a POW. Some of these individuals, mostly mothers, went to their deathbed still hoping. That would have had an impact on the entire family.

Did Kenneth’s family ever find closure and some peace? I hope so.

What do you think? Do you have stories like this in your family that led to cognitive dissonance? Did you ever come across research that indicated your family story could be true?

Would you like to discover your veteran’s story?

I am taking new research and book clients. If you’d like to discuss a WWI or WWII research project, email me at jennifer@ancestralsouls.com and set up a free consultation.