Forgiving Our Ancestors & Ourselves

"Our ancestors' experiences shaped us, but their strength and resilience can also inspire us to heal and grow." - Anonymous

I’ve been thinking a lot recently about forgiveness. For myself, family, and ancestors. Forgiveness for myself for making choices when I didn’t know what I didn’t know or when I ignored a red flag out of fear. Forgiveness for those times I had not yet identified certain family and ancestral patterns, so I chose something that ended up teaching me a multitude of hard, painful lessons but also helped me heal.

Many of us who do family history research or military research will say, ‘I wish I would have known x, y, z, while so and so was still alive so I could have asked about…….’ Maybe we’ve said something like, ‘I can’t believe my great grandfather did x, y, z and brought shame on the family!’ Or perhaps we dive deep enough into our research that we identify ancestral traumas, patterns, outdated beliefs and wish we would have known then (when we made a certain choice) what we know now. This kind of thinking and wishing can lead to a lot of self-judgment and judgment of family and ancestors.

What If……

What if we removed the self-judgment and gave ourselves some self-love instead? What if we acknowledged we cannot, and have not known, all that our parents and ancestors experienced? What if we gave our family and ancestors some extra love – even energetically? What if we remembered our ancestors were human and probably had to make a lot of choices we know nothing about before the one we judge?

What if we told ourselves how amazing and wonderful we are because we learned our lessons, leveled up, raised our vibration, were able to be of service in a greater way in the world? What if we took the time to just look at ourselves in the mirror and say over and over until we really believe it, ‘I love you. You are amazing. You are worthy. You are loved.’  What if we made this a morning ritual of standing and facing ourselves in the mirror and repeating those four short lines? What might that change for us?

What if we forgive ourselves and our ancestors for all the things we think or judge were done wrong? What if we acknowledge our ancestors strengths and resilience and identify those things within ourselves? Who might we become?

Forgiveness and love are powerful energies. Are you working with these energies? Below are a few activities you can use to help shift the energies within yourself and your lineage and bring in more love.

Ancestral Activities

Part 1: Write a letter to a deceased ancestor, expressing how their experiences have impacted your life. Reflect on how understanding their trauma, beliefs, behaviors, and patterns can help you heal and break free from negative patterns. Include in this letter at least one paragraph expressing forgiveness to self and the ancestor for not knowing what you didn’t know and making choices based on these unconscious traumas and patterns.

Part 2: Write a similar letter to a living family member. When you are finished find a place you can safely burn the letter. A fire pit, fireplace, outside over rocks, wherever it is safe to burn. Set an intention to release all this energy back to the universe for transmutation as you burn the letter. Allow the universe to do its job to transmute and heal these wounds and old energies.

Part 3: Do a self-love exercise which heals you and everyone else. Recite the Hoʻoponopono many times until you feel the energy shift. Hoʻoponopono is a traditional Hawaiian practice of reconciliation and forgiveness. It is a powerful way to clear and heal relationships. I often do this as a walking meditation on a hiking trail and either say out loud or silently to myself the following. I repeat as many times as I feel is needed. I also visualize high vibrational white light and unconditional love streaming through me and out my heart 360 degrees past the planet so everyone benefits. Simply say these four lines.

I’m sorry.

Please forgive me.

Thank you.

I love you.

Explore your family's patterns & traumas

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