Why Do We Write the Stories of Our Past?

Exploring the reasons we should be writing family history.

Writing the stories of our past is, I feel, the most important piece of family and military history research. It is also an important part of documenting our own lives, lessons, and successes for future generations. The written record can tell us so much about ourselves and our ancestors.

I think many people choose not to write because it requires us to to first stop researching long enough to actually put words on paper. It also asks people to become vulnerable as they tell their stories and feel the emotions that rise. Criticism is invited in when we are brave enough to share our work. These can be frightening emotions. Through writing we immerse ourselves in the depth of life, love, lessons, and loss. We explore issues and problems which may appear insurmountable. Are you incorporating this into your storytelling?

Looking specifically at stories of war, why should we be vulnerable?

War is hell and the men and women who served our countries were scared, tough, optimistic, and full of hope, desire, and love. The ones they left behind at home were filled with the same feelings as they navigated life on the home front. Opening ourselves up to these realizations, we become better writers. The stories we write may be more compassionately told. They may also contain more truth and honor than if we remain closed off.

Writing the Facts, Emotions, and Context

Most people do not talk about war beyond, “My uncle so and so served in World War II and fought in the Pacific.” End of story. Really? I think when you look more closely and deeply, there is more to the veteran’s experiences. People’s lives were often drastically changed due to their experiences. This applies to both those serving and the civilians at home. Over the entire world during World War II, millions of lives ended while new ones began. Many children grew up never knowing their father and in some cases, their parents and extended family.

In my own family, my father grew up an orphan of war - in a sense. This might upset people when they hear his father, my grandpa Joseph, survived the war, but spent the remaining years of his life in a Veterans Hospital with a schizophrenia diagnosis. In the eyes of some, he wasn’t an orphan of war. Yet, my dad grew up without a father.

To be able to share this, I first had to learn about my grandpa’s story and over the course of 25 years, process the emotions tied to his story, the lies my family told me about him, the secrets they kept, and face the fact I was living out his war trauma to help him heal. This required emotions, vulnerability, and lots of context.

The Facts and Only the Facts

When we put the story on paper, can we just provide the facts? Yes, but few people will want to read that story. A fact-only story tends to be dry and feel repetitive as one fact leads to another. This really isn’t storytelling.

To tell a story more people will want to read, we need to immerse ourselves in trying to understand what war was like and what our family members experienced. In a sense, we are almost trying to stand in their shoes as we relay their experiences. We also provide energy and emotion to the story. We want to engage people.

My Invitation to You

I invite you to honestly examine the stories you’ve written about your family. Particularly the stories of war. Do you only provide the facts or do you add context and emotion? Do you bring the story forward down through the generations to show how the war impacted not only that generation who lived it but the subsequent generations?

Over the next few months I’m going to share more about stories through the lenses of identity, perspective, legacy, and transformation. I’ll show you how you can explore your life and those of your ancestors through these lenses.

My Wish For You

Everyone's stories are important. There may be times in our life when telling them is MORE important, valuable, or necessary for both the teller, reader, or listener. As we navigate the chaos in the outer world, you can go within and start connecting more deeply with yourself and your ancestors. As you do, my wish for you is to find forgiveness, answers, and closure for your family and yourself.

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Bonus Writing Prompts & Reflections

In part provided by AI.

Legacy & Memory
Prompt: What legacy does your family’s veteran leave behind, and how can telling their story ensure it isn’t forgotten?
Reflection:

• What do I remember most vividly about this veteran—or what stories were passed down?

• What parts of the veteran’s stories did I discover to be untrue or some shade of grey? What did I choose to do with this information? Remain true to the veteran or family story or set the record straight?

• How do I want future generations to remember them?

• What parts of their story feel urgent or sacred to preserve?

Generational Impact
Prompt: How have the experiences of your family’s veteran shaped your family?
Reflection:

• Can I trace any patterns, behaviors, or beliefs in my family back to their service?

• How many of those patterns, beliefs, and behaviors do we still carry? Are they all necessary and do they serve our highest good today?

• Where has strength emerged? Where has pain lingered?

• What resiliencies do I note in our family as a result of war trauma?

• How do I hold those truths with compassion?

Lessons for the Future
Prompt: What can future generations learn?
Reflection:

• What wisdom or warnings does this story offer?

• We are never alone in what we feel or experience. How can I share this information with others outside of my family?

• What do I hope my children, or descendants, will carry forward?

• What do I want to stop repeating?