It is my experience that it’s not necessarily just the amount of time that has passed that allows some people to start to tell their stories. Sometimes it’s the age of the veteran that matters. Being seventy or older seems to lessen the reluctance to recount the difficult past.
As a financial advisor I counseled many older wealthy people on a variety of issues. One day an 80 something gentleman opened up and told me how he survived Pearl Harbor. It was a riveting story as he was blown into the water which was on fire from ruptured fuel tanks. He held his breath under water as long as he could then used his hands to scoop the fire away creating a pocket with which to surface and gulp air, then sunk back under the water. He did that for two hours until the rescue boat pulled his blackened and burnt hands body out of the water. All he said after that was, "I've never told anyone about that before." I felt honored to hear his story but did not know what to say.
That is a powerful story! I have found that sometimes people just need to tell their stories to someone - a stranger, an advisor - whomever - at just the right time. Maybe something was bubbling up in his heart and soul and he felt safe enough to share that with you. We, the people open up to and tell their secrets, have superpowers. One of those is simply being and holding space. Your words may not have been required - just the space you held for him to feel safe and speak. Beautiful!
It is my experience that it’s not necessarily just the amount of time that has passed that allows some people to start to tell their stories. Sometimes it’s the age of the veteran that matters. Being seventy or older seems to lessen the reluctance to recount the difficult past.
That is a great point! Age and perhaps nearing the end of life can impact the willingness or need to open up and tell the stories.
As a financial advisor I counseled many older wealthy people on a variety of issues. One day an 80 something gentleman opened up and told me how he survived Pearl Harbor. It was a riveting story as he was blown into the water which was on fire from ruptured fuel tanks. He held his breath under water as long as he could then used his hands to scoop the fire away creating a pocket with which to surface and gulp air, then sunk back under the water. He did that for two hours until the rescue boat pulled his blackened and burnt hands body out of the water. All he said after that was, "I've never told anyone about that before." I felt honored to hear his story but did not know what to say.
That is a powerful story! I have found that sometimes people just need to tell their stories to someone - a stranger, an advisor - whomever - at just the right time. Maybe something was bubbling up in his heart and soul and he felt safe enough to share that with you. We, the people open up to and tell their secrets, have superpowers. One of those is simply being and holding space. Your words may not have been required - just the space you held for him to feel safe and speak. Beautiful!